I like the idea you had here, but I think the execution could have used a bit more work. It kinda feels like the entire piece has been run through a negative bandpass filter, and only the lows and highs got through, leaving the mids in the dust.
The drums are also extremely quiet, especially for a drum and bass track; I can barely hear the kick, to be honest. This kind of music thrives off of the sense of fast paced rhythm the drums create; they should really be at the forefront of the mix. The snare is also lacking a bit in treble, and has a bit too much bass for my liking.
The piece doesn't have enough variation to warrant it being as long as it is, in my opinion. The instrumentation was cool and all, but I don't think it's enough to carry the piece.
I'd recommend listening to some of MUZZ's tracks (like New Age or his recent release Nemesis) for some examples of solid harder DnB done really well. I know they're not exactly neuro dnb, but I still think they'd offer some valuable insight.

All that said, I think you did a nice job of capturing that sense of speed you were going for, so I can't really critique you on that front. Nicely done.

Neat piece! I can totally see the toad playing his violin there. There are a few points of criticism that I have:

The piano sounds pretty artificial, not so much in the timing, but in the velocity of the notes; it sounds like every note is hit with the exact same amount of power.
Other people have already mentioned this, but until 2:05, there isn't enough variation in the piece to warrant it being as long as it is.
Speaking of the finale, I think the instruments could have fitted together a bit better. The piano and the violin don't change (much) to accommodate the inclusion of the gritty bass and the beat. Some reverb to give the section some more space and grandeur would've served nicely to capitalize off of the tension. I also think something like a choir would've fit nicely here, though that may simply be personal preference.
Not a real big fan of how you handled the kick snare pattern. It's nice to different things, but this feels like it's being different for the sake of being different; it comes across as a bit chaotic, and, in my experience, makes the rhythm a bit more difficult to listen to.
My last piece of criticism is that the silence right after the drums cut out and the piano resumes, at 2:56, could have stood to be a bit longer, actually. That would've nicely drawn out some lasting tension, and given the closing piano a bit more depth and impact.

All in all, I think it's a nice rendition of the image as music, and I can see where the inspiration came from. It could use some work, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good piece. Well done!

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude, I cannot get over that fucking Drum & Bass switchup at 3:38! That blew my fucking mind. Really fucking cool man.

I do have a few teeny nitpicks in that certain sections, like at 1:10, the growls are just a bit too quick in succession, making it somewhat difficult to listen to. And at the aforementioned DnB section at 3:38, there's so much happening at once that it's kinda overwhelming.

All that said, fucking fantastic production, my man!

I LOVE that you’re still making Katawa Shoujo stuff, even though the game is so old now. Gives me sweet memories whenever I see it pop up in my feed

Protecc the best girl!